This is not the Right Time, is not the Right Day
by Mandy Hathaway Baker
Summary: After Dimitri said "love fades, mine has". Dimitri does something really wrong with… Lissa. Something that can make Rose sees Lissa in a entirely different way. Something that both Lissa and Dimitri will regret for the rest of their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**This is not the Right Time, This is not the Right Day**

**This story sets after Dimitri said **_**love fades, mine has**_** to Rose in Spirit Bound. Rose is really hurt but still believes that Dimitri loves her deep inside. But that all changes when Dimitri does something really wrong with… Lissa. Something that can make Rose sees Lissa in a entirely different way. Something that both Lissa and Dimitri will regret for the rest of their lives. **

"_You are late," Dimitri said looking at me. We were at the school gym just about to start our trainings. He was wearing loose running pants and a black T-shirt. I was trying really hard not to kiss him right there and do a lot more interesting things that I was imagining. "Again"._

"_Well, I would be here in time if…" I didn't finish because Dimitri was now moving closer to me. And when I say closer I mean… really closer. Our bodies were inches apart. I couldn't speak or even breathe._

"_If_?_" He was looking me in the eyes. His eyes were so perfects. I felt like I could just stay there and stare into those deep brown eyes forever._

"_If I didn't dream with my hot older mentor every damn night" I said trying to sound sexy but I think it all came out so fast that he didn't even understand._

_He slightly touched my arm with his fingertips. This simple touch on my bare skin sent an electric current through us that was impossible to ignore. I jumped on him sending both of us on the gym's floor. My mouth met his on a hungry kiss while his hands were on my hips pulling me closer. It felt like we could never get enough of each other. It felt… wonderful._

_I pulled away to look into his eyes where I found a lust gaze. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Then I left open mouthed kisses all over his neck._

"_Stay away" Dimitri said voice hard._

_I stopped kissing him almost instantly. The harshness on his voice was like cold water to me. It almost hurt. No, it did hurt._

"_What_?_" I asked shocked still on top of him. "No, I know you want this." I kept kissing him on the neck. "I know you want me" I said between kisses._

"_I can't have people loving me," his voice was cold, he didn't even move. "I'm incapable of loving anyone in return."_

"_What the hell_?_" Now I pulled away no longer turned on. What he was saying was ridiculous… but yet… it felt like I've already heard this before. Like a déjà vu._

"_I wish you hadn't come here," he said the coldness was still in his voice. "It's really better for us to stay apart."_

_Damn it, what was he saying_?_ And why the hell I was still with the déjà vu feeling_?

"_You love me" it came out as a whisper. __"I know you do."_

"_No, Roza. __I've given up on you. Love Fades. Mine has."_

"No!" I screamed getting up. I opened my eyes. I was on my bed covered in sweat and breathing heavily. _Another nightmare_. It wasn't the first one I had. Actually, since Dimitri said "_Love Fades, Mine has_" I've been having bad dreams very similar to this one. Of course, the dream didn't make any sense. I mean, first we are making out and after Dimitri just pulled me away. Or maybe it just sums up my relationship with Dimitri. Sometimes we're hot and sometimes we're cold.

I looked at the clock. It was three in the morning for the Moroi world. Too early to get up but I couldn't stand staying in my bed any longer.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked at my face on the mirror. My hair was all messy from sleeping and I looked like a zombie. I didn't get a full night sleep for a week now. It's been a week since Dimitri said those things to me. After the day on the church I hadn't seen him again but I wasn't worry because Lissa was having lunch with him every day and after that she would come to my room and tell me how he was. Yes, she would tell me because she was blocking me out of her head.

At first I got really pissed with the blocking thing but then she explained that Dimitri said he would only have lunch with her if she blocked me out. I was really angry with all of this but I rather be blocked out of Lissa's head while she was with him and after knowing that he was ok than not knowing at all. So I agreed with all this blocking me out thing but that didn't mean I hadn't tried to find them on lunch time, because sure as hell I did. I went to every court's restaurant but never found them and every time I asked Lissa where they had lunch she would only shook her head and I felt a guilty feeling through the bound. I knew she wanted to tell me but she didn't because of Dimitri.

Lissa told me that Dimitri was getting better each day and that he even gave her a full smile yesterday. Of course I almost burned with all the jealousy I felt hearing that she was the one who saw he giving his first full smile after returning to a dhampir, but I know she just wanted to help me. And that meant that he was almost back to his old self and once he does get back to his old self he'll realize that he still loves me and that we are meant to be together, just like I always knew we would.

I decided that I couldn't get back to bed so I decided to take a shower. The water was warm and I think I stayed there for almost an hour washing my hair. I finally got out of the shower and went to my bedroom where I watched TV until my stomach started doing hungry noises. I hadn't realized until then that I was starving. So, I decided to go to the café near the guardians headquarter to eat some doughnuts.

It was still early but there were already plenty of people on the streets. I made my way to the café but once I was inside I saw someone that I really didn't want to see. Adrian.

The last time I saw him he was really mad at me. He yelled at me that he couldn't stand me being his girlfriend while I had still feelings for Dimitri. He said that when I was ready to move on I could look for him. And well, in different words, hedumped me. Not that I could blame him.

He saw me entering in the café but didn't say a thing. He was still mad at me. Ok, I guess this couldn't get worse, could it?

"Good morning, Adrian" I smiled at him "Pretty early for you, isn't it?"

He didn't answer, he just kept drinking his coffee.

"Adrian" I said, now serious. "You can't just ignore me."

He looked at me and I could see pain in his eyes. "Have you decided what you are going to do? Me or him?" _Me or him._ Yeah, he actually said that. Well, what could I say¿ I guess it is better this way. My relationship with Adrian wouldn't work anyway. His own mother knows that. I didn't answer his question, so he took that as a no. "Well, so I guess I can ignore you after all." He then left the café without looking back.

I ordered a chocolate doughnut and sat down at a table. _Poor Adrian_. He was so good to me, but I knew I didn't love him in a romantic way and it was better letting him go. Someday he'll find a woman who'll love him the way he deserves. And unfortunately, I'm not this woman. I took a bite of my doughnut.

"Rose," I heard a familiar voice saying "are you really going to ignore me?" I looked away from my doughnut and saw Christian Ozera staring at me. He was sitting in front of me and he looked annoyed.

"What?"

He frowned. "Rose, I am here for almost three minutes talking to you." _What_? Three minutes? What a guardian I am!

"Oh, I'm sorry, Christian."

"It's ok." He said eating a doughnut as well. "So, how are you?"

"Fine."

"You don't look fine." He argued. "You look like shit."

"Wow, that's exactly what a woman wants to hear!" I sent him a death glare "Now I know why Lissa broke up with you."

I instantly regret saying those words to him. Christian still loved Lissa and I know that Lissa still loved him too. But they were just being stupid and immature! I was sure that soon they would get back together, but it was taking so long!

"Christian, I'm sorry!" I said "I didn't mean-"

"It is ok." He said but it didn't seem ok. Damn it! "Let's just eat."

We finished our food silently after this. If someone said for me three years ago that I'd be eating breakfast with Christian Ozera I'd say that this person was drunk. No way in hell I'd do this. But well, time can change everything. Christian has been an amazing friend to me. He was like a brother to me. Some days ago he said that if Dimitri wasn't so tall and strong he'd kick his ass for let me sad. I laughed.

"I think I'm going to the gym now," I said as we got out of the café. "Do you want to have lunch later?"

"Sure" he answered. "I think I'm going to see Mia now. We're really doing a good job with our magic."

We said our goodbyes and I started running towards the gym. The gym wasn't far away from the café so I get there pretty fast running.

"Hey, Rose!" I heard someone calling me once I got inside the gym.

"Hey Ambrose" Wow… Ambrose. I hadn't expected to see him here. I mean, when he gave up being a guardian I just thought that he would give up the gym too.

"Didn't expect to see me here, did you?" He smiled. "Well, I have to take care of my body."

I nodded. "Sure you do." And what a body he had! Ambrose was really cute. No, cute is not the right word. The word is SEXY.

Suddenly I was no longer with Ambrose. I was pulled into Lissa's head. Through the bound I felt lust and longing. I smirked. Looks like fireboy didn't go to Mia's place after all. He and Lissa were together now after all this time and they weren't wearing many clothes. They were in a room that I didn't recognized. The room was dark and silence except for a moan. Lissa was kissing a neck… a neck that I knew well. But it wasn't Christian's. The neck that she was kissing had six molninja marks… The neck was…

No, it couldn't be. She wouldn't do this. She is my best friend.

But it was Dimitri's neck.

…

**Okay… I hope you guys liked this chapter. It is my first fanfic ever. I know that Dimitri and Lissa would never be together on the books, but I've just wanted to write a story where Rose is betrayed by her favorite people in the whole world. Lissa and Dimitri.**

**Please, forgive my grammar mistakes! It is really hard for me to write in English since it is not my first language.**

**Xoxo**

**Mandy.**


	2. Chapter 2

_My – Lissa's_ lips were kissing Dimitri hard on the neck. No. Who am I kidding? It couldn't be Lissa kissing Dimitri. She wouldn't do this. Of course not. I must be in one of my crazy dreams, because surely they wouldn't do this. I must have passed out at the gym and now I'm dreaming. Or maybe I didn't even get out of bed yet. I sure imagined being pushed into Lissa's head. I was dreaming.

In the dream I needed Dimitri. I needed him like I needed to breath. I needed him like my life depended on it. I needed him. So I just kept kissing him hard on the neck while his hands ware sliding along my hips. At this point, Dimitri was only wearing his boxers and I my panties. I trailed kisses down his bare chest and up his neck until finally find his mouth. We kissed passionate and it was like I had a fire burning with me. _A lust fire_.

"No, I can't" Dimitri said pulling away. "I'm sorry."

What was he saying? I needed him!

"Yes, you can." I said and looked into his deep brown eyes. "You can do this." I said and put a bit of compulsion on my words. _Cool, I could use compulsion in my dreams_.

Dimitri nodded and kissed me. All I could think about at the moment was how much lust I felt. Dimitri managed to take the rest of our clothes off without breaking the kiss. It was now... I could feel it. We were about to become one. It has been so long since I felt this way... Since Christian…

_OH, WHAT? Christian? Compulsion_?

No way I was in Lissa's head. NO WAY she'd do this to me. NO WAY Dimitri would ever make love with another woman. NO WAY!

We were – _They were_ deepening the kiss, Lissa's pressed her body closer to his…

I was in Lissa's head watching her having sex with the love of my life. _I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!_ I yelled at myself and like that I came back to my own mind.

How could she... How could him... She is my best friend and he is the love of my life! _My best friend and the love of my life!_ How could they?

"Rose," Someone was shaking me. "Rose! Are you ok?"

Ok. Someone was asking if I was ok. Was I? Would I ever be ok knowing that my best friend slept with the love of my life? Would I?

"Rose!" The person tried again shaking me really hard now. I opened my eyes and saw Ambrose staring at me. I felt tears all over my faceow .

"Oh my…" I cried and buried my face in Ambrose's chest. He was surprised at first but after he embraced me. _I couldn't believe… I just couldn't believe…_

How could they? I thought that she was my friend! And I thought… I thought that he loved me! How could they?

The scene I'd just seen was repeating over and over in my head and I didn't know what was more painful: Lissa's or Dimitri's betrayal.

Lissa has always been my best friend since we were little kids. She's like a sister to me. When her parents and brother died I was the only family she had and she was mine. Lissa and I made a promise that we'd be best friends forever. So why did she do that to me? _Why?_

But on the other hand... Dimitri and I have been on an amazing connection since the first time we saw each other. We didn't need words to express what we were feeling. No one knew me better than Dimitri, and no one knew Dimitri better than I did. We were soul mates. We were perfect together… So why would he do that to me? Why would he betray me in the most painful way imaginable?

"What happened?" Ambrose asked soft wiping my tears away.

Should I tell him? Would he understand? Would anyone in this world understand? No. No one would ever understand the pain I was feeling. It was too much. I felt like my heart was broken and it'd never get fixed again. So I just shook my head and kept crying.

"You'll feel better if you tell someone." He said. His voice was sweet trying to comfort me, but I knew that telling someone wouldn't solve my problem. Nothing would. But I was feeling so… so alone. _My best friend and the love of my life… _I needed to know that someone was by my side. I needed someone to tell me that everything would be fine, even knowing that fine wasn't an option anymore. So I told him everything. I told him how much I loved Dimitri. I told him how Lissa has always been my best friend. _Everything._ And finally, I told him what I'd just seen.

When I finished I was still crying. I've never cried so hard. I've never felt so much pain.

"Stop it." Ambrose said serious. "Stop crying. They don't deserve your tears."

"Of course they do." I said between sobs. Lissa has done such wonderful things. She has healed so many people. She gave me a second chance at life. And the most amazing thing, she healed Dimitri from that evil state. And Dimitri… He was tough enough to kill strigois but at the same time he was such a gentle man… His lips were so soft when connected with mines. The same lips that were now touching Lissa's lips. Lissa who didn't even think about me while making love with my soul mate. "You're right. They don't deserve me or my tears."

Realization hit me then. I didn't need this. I deserved a lot more. I deserved more than a guy who always made me suffer. I deserved more than have a best friend that would betray me in such a low way. I deserved more. And right now I wanted more.

_They come first_. Not anymore.

"I need to get out of here." I said to myself. I'd already stopped crying.

"What?"

"I'm done, Ambrose." I said more confident than I felt. "I'm done. All my life, Lissa came first. And do you see how she paid me back? _She slept with my boyfriend_. Or almost boyfriend. Or whatever. The thing is I'm done. Now, I want to live my life. My own life. Away from Court. Far away from Court."

He didn't say anything for a moment and I was really thinking he thought that I was crazy. Then he took my hand and started walking out of the gym.

"Wow… Where are we going?" I asked while he dragged me with him.

"We're visiting someone who can help you" He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Help me?" Gosh, he thought that I was crazy and needed help. I knew it. I stopped walking instantly. "No, I don't need help. I mean, I am sane, I swear I'm not crazy!" _Great, Rose._ This is just what a crazy person would say.

"Not this kind of help" He laughed. "I'm talking about someone who can take you out of Court, out of the Moroi world."

"Oh, so you don't think I'm crazy." I said relieved.

"Of course I think you're crazy," Ambrose smiled. "But who said that I'm not crazy too?"

And with that we walked into a building that I recognized, toward a room that I recognized too. We were in front of the room Tatiana yelled at me some months ago when I was still at the academy and she thought that I was dating Adrian. Ambrose was about to open the door when I caught his arm. "Are you crazy? This is the queen's room!"

He shrugged "I know."

Then he opened the door.

"Hello!" He said smiling bright.

The queen smiled back. She was drinking something that looked like coffee. I said _looked like_. I had no idea what she was drinking. Behind the queen there were three guardians that were staring at me and as soon as the queen noticed me her face fell. "What's going on?" She asked slowly.

I didn't move. I couldn't believe Ambrose brought me to see the queen! How could the queen help me? I didn't even like her! And sure she didn't like me either. It was obvious. _And…_ she was the queen!

"Well," Ambrose said and told her everything. _Everything_. I wanted to slap him! How dare he tell my problems without my permission to the queen? I was so ashamed but at the same time I was mad. Mad with everything. I wanted to kill everyone in a very painful way starting with Lissa and Dimitri.

"You're a great guardian, Rose. And in times like this, the moroi world needs a guardian like you." The queen finally said.

Did the queen just complement me? I think so. "Yeah, I'm leaving." I said. "And I'm sure the guardians can replace me. I was just with a stupid desk job anyway."

"Didn't Hans tell you?" She asked me. "We talked a lot about it and… well, we decided that you can be Vasilisa's guardian."

I could be Lissa's guardian. I've wanted that since we were kids and now I could get it… But after what I saw today… It was the last thing I wanted right now.

"I don't want it." I whispered.

"I understand that right now you don't want it, but this job is your great chance and I'm sure you and Vasilisa will solve things out and everything will be ok again." Tatiana said. But would it be ok?

"Ok." I whispered. Would I ever be able to look at Lissa and Dimitri the same way I did before? And what would happen to them? Would they be dating? Would Dimitri be Lissa's boyfriend? "I don't want it." I repeated.

"Well, If you don't want guard Vasilisa we can at last find another moroi for you, but be the guardian of the last Dragomir would be honorable."

"I don't want other moroi either."

"Ok," The queen said carefully "But why are you telling me all this?"

_Good question_. I didn't answer because I didn't know either. But Ambrose however did. "Well, you see. Rose is leaving and she doesn't have any money..."

OMG! How could he say that? Even though it was true, you can't go to a queen and ask for money like that.

Tatiana, however, didn't seem to mind. "How much do you need, Rose?"

Huh? "Oh, well," I didn't know where I was going to go or what I was going to do once I left Court. "Thank you, but I think I'll just get a job…"

"Oh Rose!" Tatiana said "Please, skip this part, just say how much you want. I'm pretty busy today."

Was she serious? What Ambrose got me into?

"This is serious, Rose." Ambrose said almost like reading my mind.

I shook my head "I can't accept this."

"Sure you can." Tatiana said. "But I have to say that Vasilisa won't be happy about you leaving. She'll try to find you"

"I know."

"If Vasilisa wants to find you it'll be easy. She can just hire a detective and she'll find you." The queen said like it was obvious. And it was.

I hadn't thought about it. I mean, I hadn't thought about anything at all. I didn't even know where I was going. But Tatiana had a point. Lissa would try to find me. She'd probably hire a detective. And a detective would find me easy. But I had the solution.

"I can change my name." I said suddenly sure what I had to do. Lissa wouldn't be the only person that would try to find me. Abe and my mother probably would too. But they wouldn't find me if I changed my name.

"You're really crazy." Ambrose stated.

Tatiana seemed to ponder at my words. "No, actually it is very smart, Rose. But we've to do it very carefully or rather someone can find out."

Wait… did she just said _we_? "Oh, you don't have to worry about it, your majesty."

She didn't even listen me. Instead, she started talking to a guardian in a rushed voice. A minute later the guardian left. "Well, now we wait."

Some minutes passed and we didn't say anything, but of course I had to ask one thing, even though I knew I'd regret it.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked and she gave me an I'm-The-Queen look. "What is it that you're drinking?"

"You really don't want to know, Rose." Ambrose answered me. And his answer scared the hell out of me. But, thankfully the guardian came back with the papers the queen asked him. It was now, I wouldn't be Rose Hathaway anymore.

"Are you sure you want this surname, Rose?"

I nodded and signed the document. Now there was no come back. I wasn't Rosemarie Hathaway anymore. Now, I was Rosemarie Mazur.

I know, Mazur? My dad's name… Well, Lissa wouldn't find out. Anyone would since just a few people knew that he was my father. Maybe Abe would… But that wasn't a problem since he didn't tell Lissa. And deep down I liked my old man.

After that Tatiana made a few calls and finally said "Go to this bank, they will give your credit card." She gave me the bank's address that wasn't far away from Court.

"Don't get me wrong, but why are you doing all this for me?" I asked.

She looked into my eyes "I know how you feel. Once, my friend and my ex-boyfriend also betrayed me in a similar way." She said sadly and I wondered if this was the reason Tatiana never got married. I wondered if she was lonely because she never totally recovered from this betrayal. I wondered if I'd ever be lonely like her. "And, well, Ambrose's friends are my friends too." I felt like I would throw up as I remembered that Tatiana and Ambrose were… _lovers_. And well, she wasn't lonely at all.

I felt bad, like it was wrong to accept her money, but at the moment I didn't care because I really needed it. "Thank you." I said and left the room. Ambrose asked if I wanted him to go along with me to my room but I refused saying that I needed to be alone. And I really needed. So I just walked as fast as I could toward my room. While walking the image of Lissa and my Dimitri together came back to my mind and I felt tears in my eyes. _No,_ I told myself. _I won't cry._

When I finally arrived my room, there was someone at my door. "Christian? What are you doing here?"

"We were going to have lunch, did you forget?" He asked. Staring into those ice blue eyes I realized that he didn't know what happened. He didn't know what Lissa and Dimitri had done. He didn't know… Should I tell him? "Rose, are you ok? Looks like you cried." _Great! He was asking if I was ok too. I was really getting annoyed with the word ok._ "What did the Russian guy said to you now?"

No, I wouldn't tell him what happened. It was Lissa's job telling him. "No, nothing happened. I just had a little chat with the queen."

He gave me a crooked smile "The queen?"

"Yeap. She wants me to go to a kind of secret mission." I lied.

"A secret mission? I'm sorry to disappoint you but you aren't the 007 type." he joked.

"What? Of course I am!" I faked hurt in my voice.

"So what mission is it?"

"I can't tell you. It's top secret."

"When are you leaving?"

"Right now." I said. I wanted to leave as soon as I could. "So, I'm sorry but I have to cancel our lunch. I have to pack."

"Are you serious?" I nodded and he seemed to believe. "Wow. When will you come back?"

"I don't know." I said and I really didn't know.

"Ok." He said after a moment. "I think it will be good for you." Then we said our goodbyes and I realized that I really would miss Christian.

After that I made my way into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath and just as I was about to start packing I heard a knocking in my door. "It's open"

The door opened and Lissa stepped into my bedroom.

"Hey," she said smiling. I couldn't believe that she was standing at my door smiling after what she did to me. "I've just had lunch with Dimitri."

_Seriously?_

"Really? And how is he?" I asked playing along.

"He is fine! He looks so much better –" _Of course he looked so much better after sex._

"GET OUT!" I yelled at her.

"What?"

"Get out." I repeated this time my voice calm and pointed my finger at the door.

Realization hit her.

"You saw it." She whispered.

…

**Hey guys, I'm so happy with all yours reviews! Yaaay!**

**Okay, I've finished another chapter and I really hope that I didn't disappoint you. It was so difficult to write the Dimitri and Lissa's scene… I mean I really can't imagine them together. Anyway, I hope you liked it.**

**xoxo**

**Mandy.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh... I'm sorry... What exactly do you think I saw?" I asked faking innocence.

Lissa's face was turning red and through the bond I felt… Well, I'm not sure what. I think Lissa's emotions were a mess. I felt embarrassment, sorrow, regret, sadness... _Funny, right?_ I mean, I am the one who is betrayed and she is feeling sorrow and embarrassment. Of course, they were nothing compared to my feelings of angry, sorrow and shame. I was so angry and so ashamed. I'd always believed that Lissa would never do anything to hurt me... I was always after Dimitri insisting in our love... They probably laughed at my face when I wasn't looking.

"Rose, I'm so – " Lissa suddenly started crying. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean – "

"You're sorry?" Seeing her cry made me want to cry too, but I kept my face neutral. "Why are you sorry? Because you had sex with Dimitri or because you didn't tell me that you had sex with him?" When I said those words to her I felt something die inside of me. _I wanted to die_. I couldn't believe that she'd do this to me… "By the way, how long have you guys been dating?"

"No," she said between sobs "we are not – "

"I mean, you guys had sex today. So you're dating, right? Because I'm sure you wouldn't do it with someone who isn't your boyfriend. You're a princess after all. So tell me, how long have you two been dating?"

"Rose, please stop." She said in a small voice.

"Stop what? You want me to stop talking to Dimitri since you guys are dating and I'm his ex? Oh yeah, that wouldn't look great for you, would it? Don't worry I'll stay away from your guy." It hurt so much say those words to her. But I needed to make her suffer just like I was.

"No, Rose." She said. "Let me explain. It didn't –"

"Oh, now you're going to explain? You are –"

"_Shut up and listen to me!"_ She yelled and I stopped talking. Lissa almost never yelled and it took me off guard. I was expecting that I'd be the first one to yell here. "It didn't mean anything. Anything at all. What happened today was a mistake. A huge mistake. I don't know why I did what I did, but it surely wasn't because we loved each other. Because we don't. I love Christian and you love Dimitri." A tear escaped my eye when she said Dimitri's name, hearing it from her seemed wrong. "And that's how it is supposed to be. _Me and Christian. You and Dimitri._"

"And yet, you didn't even think about me or Christian while you and Dimitri were taking each other's clothes off." My words just make Lissa cry harder. And by now lots of tears were escaping my eyes. I didn't know what to think because through the bound I could feel that Lissa's words were true. But that didn't change the fact that she fucked Dimitri when she knew that he was the love of my life. "_What a best friend you are_." I didn't recognize my voice. It seemed so cold.

Lissa cried even harder, if that's possible, and I didn't care. For the first time in my life, I didn't give a shit about Lissa's feelings. I looked at her and felt jealous. Her blonde hair complemented so well her delicate face. She looked like an angel. _But angels didn't sleep with their best friend's boyfriend. _Damn it. At the moment I just wanted to be alone. "Can you please leave my room?"

She came closer to me and hugged me. "_Rose, please_. Forgive me. You're my best friend. Forgive me."

Instantly I moved away from her and walked toward my bed. "Please. Leave my room."

She took a deep breath. "Ok, I'll leave. But I have to tell you something. Hans told me that you can be my guardian." She said and expected me to be happy. _Seriously_?

"I know." I said as it wasn't a big deal.

Her face fell "You knew? Oh, and don't you think that it's great? We've always wanted it."

"Whatever. I'm leaving Court anyway." I said but it was too late. I didn't want Lissa to know that I was leaving.

"What? Are you leaving?" She panicked. "Because of what I did? Please, don't… don't leave me. Don't leave Court. You don't need to be my guardian if you don't want to. But don't leave. Think about Dimitri. Don't leave him."_ Ouch, Dimitri._

"He doesn't need me here. He let it pretty clear today."

"Rose, please. It wasn't his fault. I used compulsion on him. You have to forgive him."

"It wasn't much compulsion. He could have fought it if he wanted. But he didn't."

"Forgive him." She repeated.

"No!" I yelled. "Do you think that's ok? You're saying to me that he is so weak that he can't even fight a bit of compulsion. Do you think that I'm an idiot? I know him. I know Dimitri better than anyone. He is strong. He could have fought it if he wanted." It was true.

"No, I'm just saying –"

"Just don't, Lissa. Don't say anything, please."

"Stop interrupting me!" She said angry. "I hate when you do it. It didn't mean anything! Anything, okay? It didn't even last that long."

"_It didn't even last that long?"_ I said now burning with angry. "Do you want me to feel better at this? _It didn't even last that long!_ Do you even hear yourself when you speak? _It didn't even last that long_!" I couldn't believe she said that to me.

She seemed to realize the shit she'd just said. "I didn't mean to sound like that."

"_Oh, you don't mean anything, do you?"_ I was still yelling. "Fuck you! Get out of here! NOW!"

"Rose, calm down." She said and I looked her in her eyes. Her green eyes were so beautiful. "You have to calm down. You have to listen to me. You can't leave Court. You have to forgive Dimitri and me. We don't love each other. It didn't mean anything." _Yeah, she was right. I had to calm down. I couldn't leave Court like that. And well, I had to forgive Dimitri and Lissa_. Wait.

"You used compulsion on me? After everything you did to me you still use compulsion on me? Get out of here. NOW!" I yelled louder than before. "Get out before I punch you."

Something told her that I wasn't kidding so she walked toward the door and said one last time "I'm sorry." And then she left.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to punch Lissa. I wanted to punch Dimitri. I wanted to punch myself. I laid on my bed holding my pillow close to my body and started crying. I cried. I cried for hours until there weren't tears anymore.

I fought her compulsion. Dimitri could have fought it too. But he didn't.

I finally saw the sunlight through my window and got up. I didn't want to sleep so I started packing which didn't take long. It was night for the morois, but it was early for the humans. It would take a few hours to the bank Tatiana told me to go open. So I still had time.

I decided to have a shower so I stepped into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. What I saw scared me. My eyes were bloodshot from crying and it seemed like I needed some sleep. And I really did. But not now, I had to get out of Court first. I looked horrible.

"I swear I'll never let anyone do this to me again." I said looking at myself in the mirror. "I'll never love anyone again. I'll never cry again. I swear."

And then I jumped into the shower.

When got out of the bathroom the sun was up and shining bright. It was hot and I was wearing my black skinny jeans and a light grey T-shirt. Before leave I'd have to do something very important. Eat.

I needed doughnuts so I decided to go to the same café that I went yesterday hoping that it'd still be open. I walked slowly loving the way the sun made everything look amazing… Court was a beautiful place at night, but once it was touched by sunshine… It was gorgeous. The sun made everything look nicer. I loved it. I had no idea where I would go when I left Court, but I would definitely live in a human schedule.

"Damn it." I said when I arrived the café and saw that it was closed. Where would I found a doughnut now? Didn't they know that doughnut's stores should never close? Every time is time for doughnuts!

I took a deep breath and walked away. I didn't know where I was going, I was just walking. While walking I thought about Lissa. I couldn't believe that she did that to me… But was I being unfair? Should I stay here at Court and pretend that nothing happened? Should I keep the promise I made a long time ago and be her guardian?

I think the question is could I just pretend that nothing happen? No, I definitely couldn't. If she had slept with any other guy… But, no, she had to sleep with _the guy, my guy, Dimitri_. I would never be able to pretend that it didn't happen because it did, even though I wish it didn't.

"I heard that you're leaving." Someone said behind me.

I looked behind and saw Adrian Ivashkov sitting on the floor with a vodka bottle in hand. His hair was messy like always, but it was a sexy messy. He was wearing a blue T-shirt and jeans, and even though my heart was broken into a million pieces I still had to admit that Adrian Ivashkov was gorgeous.

"What do you want, Adrian?" I said. "I thought that you weren't talking to me."

"Well, I want to say that" He took a deep breath "I'm sorry." I instantly knew that he wasn't only talking about the way he behaved.

"Did Tatiana tell you?" I asked. How dare she?

"No." I saw guilt in Adrian's eyes. "I was there."

"You… What?"

"I was there while you talked to my aunt… I was behind the door. I listened everything."

"Adrian!" I said but somehow I wasn't mad. I really wanted to be but it was like I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't sad. I wasn't mad. I was just feeling empty. "You shouldn't do it."

"I know, but where are you going now?" I wasn't going to tell him and he knew that. He probably would tell Lissa. "I won't tell her." He said almost like he read my mind. "I'm just worry."

I sighed. "I have no idea."

He didn't seem surprise at my words. "Well, have you ever been to London?"

I've always wanted to see the Big Ben.

When I said I'd leave Court I didn't think that I'd leave the U.S. but now that Adrian mentioned London I was excited about it. The only other country I knew was Russia, and well, I didn't have much fun there when I was trying to kill the man I loved and still do. But that's not important right now.

The important was that I was going to London. I didn't know what I was going to do once I get there, but Adrian said that I'd love it. And well, he wasn't the only one who said that…

"_Hey Liss!" I said hugging my best friend "I've missed you."_

"_Rose!" She said tightening our hug. "Oh, Rose… I've missed you too. I wish you were there… London is soooooo nice Rose. You'd love it. Andre and I had so much fun! Mom said that next time you can go with us!" Lissa was so happy that I thought she'd explode._

_It was summer holidays and Lissa's family traveled to London. I was so jealous of her… I wish my mother and I could travel just like an ordinary family… But no, that would never happen. My mother, Janine Hathaway, would never travel with me. She wouldn't even visit me. On my tenth birthday my mother didn't even send me an email._

"_Huh, that's nice Liss." I said biting my lip. While she was traveling I had to stay at the academy. In this time of the year no one stayed here –_

"I've already got our tickets." Adrian said bringing me back to the present.

"What?" I said "You meant ticket. I'm going alone."

"Nope. I'm coming with you."

I was standing near the Court's gates. A taxi was waiting for me outside. I was just waiting the plane ticket Adrian said would get me. But apparently he brought more than a ticket.

"No, you're not." I said looking at the small suitcase that Adrian was holding. "Now give me my ticket."

"I'm not giving you the ticket until we arrive the airport." He said amusing.

"You know what?" I said walking away. "Forget it. I'm just buying another ticket at the airport."

Adrian grabbed my arm. "No. Please Rose. Let me go with you."

I looked into his green eyes and couldn't help the smile that came to my face. I was relieved that Adrian had stopped ignoring me. Adrian had dumped me. True. But I could see in his eyes that he still liked me. At the moment I needed to feel that someone did like me, and well Adrian was there.

"Okay…" I said slowly. "But we are just friends."

"Of course we are. I broke up with you remember?" He then ran to the taxi, like he was afraid that I would change my mind. I was just about to follow Adrian when someone grabbed my arm. I looked at the person and my heart stopped. I felt the tears coming back all over again. Damn it.

"Let me go." My voice was low. I wouldn't lose control. I wouldn't love anyone… especially not him. But I couldn't help it. Looking into those deep brown eyes I felt like I was going to cry as I remembered those eyes looking at Lissa…

"Listen to me." Dimitri said. His voice was low too.

"You slept with her! You fucking bastard!" I said trying to get away from him. "Let me go!" I repeated louder.

"Listen to me." His voice was still low. I wanted so badly to get out of here. I wanted to leave Court because I couldn't face Dimitri ever again… But there he was.

"Please, don't go." He whispered. Those simple words made my feelings a true mess.

…

**Thank you guys soooooooo much for all the wonderful reviews. I'm the happiest person in the world! Yay!**

**I'm sorry to take so long to update. So did you guys liked this chapter? I really don't want to disappoint you!**

**Some of you want Christian to find out about Dimitri and Lissa, and well, he will! I promise! But everything in its time…**

**Thank you again!**

**Xoxo**

**Mandy.**


	4. Chapter 4

I loved Dimitri so much… I loved Dimitri more than anything. My love for him was something so strong that it hurts. I've had already so much pain… Every second that he wasn't with me it pained me. Every time he rejected me… It felt like… I don't know. I felt like my heart was broken. But when I saw him with Lissa, it was like my heart wasn't the only thing broken. I was broken. I was entirely broken and I knew for a fact that I would never get fixed again.

"You're asking me to stay?" It came out as a question.

"Yes." He said his voice still low. I felt like my heart was twisting in agony and pain as I remembered what he and Lissa had done.

"So that's it, isn't it?" A single tear managed to escape my eye. "You are capable of love, you just don't love me."

"I don't know." He said and now seemed deep in thought. He let go off my arm and very slowly his fingertips touched my face wiping the tear away. "I don't know how I feel, Rose." He sighed. "You have no idea... Everything is so confusing. I would give anything, anything, to go back to that day at the academy... I would give anything to make things different. But I can't. I can't go back to the past. If I could, believe me, I would. I would give anything for nothing of this happens. Every night, Rose... Every night I have nightmares. _Nightmares with you_. You hunt me and my dreams, Rose. I can't stop thinking about what I did to you in Russia. It hurts knowing that I did what I did. It hurts when I remember the taste of your blood. It hurts looking at you. It hurts when I hear your voice. It hurts. But now I realize that..." He took a deep breath. "I realize that the thought that you're leaving and there's the possibility that I'll never see you again... That is what hurts most. I know that it may sound selfish, but somehow, I need you here."

By now, I'd lost my senses of the world. Only Dimitri and I were standing there. I could feel the sweet smell of his aftershave. "Why?"

"I don't know." He looked frustrated. "I just need you, Rose."

I didn't know what to think. I couldn't help but remember seeing Dimitri through Lissa's eyes. I couldn't help but _feeling_ Dimitri's touch through the bound. That wasn't something that Lissa should experience. I was the only woman who Dimitri could touch in that way… She said that they didn't love each other, but didn't it make things worse? I mean… They slept together and it didn't mean anything. Isn't it worse than if it had meant something?

"I don't believe you." I said. "You didn't even talk to me. We didn't even see each other. It was like I didn't exist. So why are you saying that you need me now if you didn't before?"

"I don't know." He said. "Like I said I wish things were different."

"You said that you were incapable of love. You said that you've given up on love. You said you've given up on me, so why the hell you need me?"

"I don't know." He repeated.

"You were avoiding me. You were acting like I didn't exist. So why do you want me to stay? You want to see me suffer? To see me in pain? Because that is what is going to happen if I stay."

"No, of course not, Roz -" He stopped himself before he said my Russian nickname. I was holding my breath and my heart cried in pain wanting to hear it so badly. "Rose. I'd never want to see you suffer."

"So," I said trying to keep a straight face. "why?"

I wanted so badly to hear him say that he loved me. I've been waiting so long to hear that. If he said that... maybe everything would be ok. Maybe my broken heart would heal. But, no. Of course he didn't say that.

"I know what you want me to say," He said and I could see pain in his face. "But I can't say that. I just can't..."

"Why? Because it is not true?" I said holding back tears.

"That's the point. I don't know." he said. "I know that I'm being selfish. Please, Rose. I know that I have no right to ask you this, but... please... please... wait for me. Wait a little longer so that I can figure out my feelings. Maybe I do still love you, but it's just hidden. Maybe with time it will come out."

"And what do I do while waiting, Dimitri?" It was the first time that I said his name. "Do you want me to stay and watch you have sex with my best friend while you're ignoring me? Is that what you want me to do?"

"I… no." He said closing his eyes. "Of course not."

"Was it –" I took a deep breath. "Was it the first time you two did that?"

He opened his eyes. "Yes, it was. I swear."

"Why did you_… __do it_?" I made the question that I most wanted to know. I was dying to know the answer… But at the same time, I didn't want to hear it. "Why did you have sex with her?"

"I – I don't know." He said looking at the ground. "She was talking about Christian and she was just so, so sad. I had to do something, then I –"

"You slept with her because she was sad?" I yelled.

"No, no, of course not. I just hugged her and then we were –"

"You know what? I don't want to hear this." I said feeling sick at his words. Dimitri said that he'd give anything to go back to the past. But I would give more than anything to get back to the day that he brought Lissa and me back to the academy. If we were still living in the human world our lives – or at least my life – would have been so much easier.

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Do you plan on doing this with her again?" I asked trying to keep my feelings hidden.

"No, Rose." He said quickly. "It was a mistake."

I nodded. "Was she better than me?" The question escaped my lips. I wanted this answer too, but it was weird asking someone this.

His eyes went wide. "What?"

"Was Lissa better than me in bed?" I repeated clearer this time.

"Huh…" Dimitri suddenly paled.

"Just say it, Dimitri."

"Well… I think that… when I made love with you was better because I loved you, you know? And when I was with her, Lissa… It didn't mean anything. I swear."

_When I was with her, Lissa…_ He said that. It was disgusting hearing he said that he did made love with her when he knew I loved him. And it wasn't just any woman… It was Lissa my best friend.

I slapped him. "You make me sick!" I yelled. His face was red where I hit him. He was looking surprised at me like he couldn't believe what I had done. "Stay away from me. You're not my Dimitri. You are a monster. You're not the man I have once loved. _My Dimitri is dead_. My Dimitri would never do what you did_." _I didn't want to say that to him, but what he had done was killing me.

I started walking away but looked back when Dimitri called me.

"You don't mean that. I know you don't. You're just saying it because you're hurt now." He said. "But, I'm back, Rose. I'm back. Me. I'm not a strigoi anymore. I am a dhampir. I am the man you that you loved and still do. And I'm asking you. Please, stay."

"Well, if that is true," I said and turned around. "I can't believe that I was so stupid to fall in love with a fucking bastard like you."

And then I walked away without looking back.

"This is not the last time that you'll see me, Roza." I heard him say.

"I really hope that you're wrong, Comrade." I whispered to myself while walking toward the taxi.

* * *

**LPOV**

Everyone thought that I was a saint for bringing a strigoi back to his original state. Everyone thought that I was so important because I was the last Dragomir princess. Everyone had so much faith on me… But I didn't deserve any of it.

I didn't deserve my family title. I just didn't. I was just a stupid little girl. I didn't deserve to be the last Dragomir.

I didn't deserve anything I had. But mostly, I didn't deserve the most important things in the world. _Love and friendship_.

Rose, my only and truly best friend, was gone forever. And it was my entire fault. Rose and I have always been best friends… and I couldn't believe that I ruined our friendship. Rose has always been so protective towards me. We were like sisters.

I remembered a day when we were nine or ten years old. It was Saturday and we were at St. Vladimir's academy.

"_Rose," I said while we were watching TV at the Moroi's dorm. "Don't you think it would be best if you did your homework__?"_

"_Nope." She said barely looking at me._

"_But, Rose," I said worried. "You haven't done your homework in weeks. Stan said that if you don't do it you'll be expelled."_

_She turned off the TV and looked at me. "I don't care what Stan said. He wasn't serious. I won't be expelled."_

"_But, Rose…" I said and felt tears coming out of my eyes. If Rose left school I wouldn't want to be here…_

"_Oh, Liss" Rose said coming closer and hugging me. "I won't be. I promise you."_

"_Rose –"_

"_I won't leave you, Liss. Never. I promise. You are my sister." She said confident._

_She said that we were sisters. Thinking about it Rose was more than my best friend… She was the person I could tell all my secrets, she was the person that would always be there for me… she was my sister. "I love you, Rose. You're my sister. But please, do your homework."_

_She sighed. "Ok, I'll do it. But just because you asked me, Liss." _

"_Thank you!" I couldn't risk the chance of losing Rose. Maybe Stan wasn't serious about her being expelled but I didn't want to even imagine the possibility of it. I needed Rose with me. We were sisters._

But apparently I wasn't a good sister for her. Rose deserved a better friend. Rose had a hot temper and sometimes she was overprotective. True. But she'd always been the perfect best friend. But I ruined it. I ruined our friendship just like I ruined my relationship with Christian.

Christian was the perfect guy. He was the perfect boyfriend. But I ruined everything when I kissed Aaron. I was under Avery's compulsion, but I could have fought it. Just like Rose did earlier. But, the truth was, I was weak. I was so weak that I couldn't even fought the lust that I felt earlier for Dimitri. Dimitri! Rose's Dimitri! I would pay for the rest of my life because now Rose's gone. She left me. Of course, I couldn't blame her.

But I could still do something. I've lost Rose, but I wouldn't let myself lose Christian. He was the only thing that I had left_, I wouldn't lose him too_. I promised to myself as I walked towards his room.

I knocked at his door and a minute later he opened it. He was wearing loose pants and no T-shirt. "What are you doing here?" He asked. His hair was messy which made he looks so cute.

"I – I'm so – sorry." I said and I hadn't realized until than that I was crying. Looking at him I remembered all the happy moments that we spent together. And right now, I needed a happy moment. I needed Christian.

While I was looking into his beautiful ice blue eyes I remembered what I did earlier and I didn't deserve him. He was too good for me. He was amazing.

Suddenly I stepped forward and buried my face in his bare chest and instantly his arms embraced me. "I'm sorry, Christian… I'm so... so sorry."

"It's ok." He said stroking my hair.

"No… It is not." I said between sobs. "I don't deserve you."

"What? Liss look at me." He said, but I didn't move.

He cupped my face with his hand and gracefully lifted it so now I was facing him. We were only inches apart. "Liss, I'm sorry. I know that I've been acting like a jerk but… I was just acting this way because I couldn't stand the thought of you kissing another guy. But now I understand that you didn't do it on purpose. I know you wouldn't kiss another guy. It was just Avery's compulsion. So, Lissa, I'm sorry. Everything I did is because I love you so much. Can you forgive me?"

His words made me cry harder. After everything I did Christian still loved me. But he didn't know the truth… I was under compulsion when I kissed Aaron but I kissed Dimitri because I wanted. And I did a lot more than kissing him. How could I? How could I betray Christian and Rose? I didn't deserve any of them. "I don't deserve you." I whispered.

"Of course you do, Liss. Actually you deserve a lot better than me. But I love you and I promise you that if you give me another chance I won't screw things up never again. I swear." He said.

Oh my... I didn't deserve him. He was perfect. He was asking for another chance when I was supposed to ask that. He didn't know about what happened between Dimitri and I, and I wasn't going to tell him. He didn't need to know because that didn't mean anything. _Anything at all_. "I love you, Christian. And I'd be honor to be your girlfriend." I said.

He smiled and then his mouth was on mine. We kissed passionate at first but then it became something more. It was like we were trying to make up for all the time that we stayed apart. And while kissing Christian I swore to myself that I'd never let anything ruin our relationship ever again.

…

**Okay, did you guys like it? I think Christian is so sweet! *-* But don't worry, he'll find out about Lissa and Dimitri…**

**And thank you once again for all the amazing reviews! I love them soooo much! Yay!**

**Xoxo**

**Mandy.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Shut up, Adrian!" I yelled for the hundredth time. We had just arrived our hotel and I had to admit… It was gorgeous. It looked like a palace and well, I think it really was on the past. The first thing that I saw was huge marble stairs that looked very queenly. Everything in the reception did. Everything looked so beautiful and expensive that I was even afraid to touch something.

"…and then after I got out of the club…" Adrian continued like I hadn't said anything. He was telling me what he did the last time he was here. And I have to tell you, he did a lot of things… He was talking since we got out of the plain and it was like he'd never stop talking. I sighed.

"We have to do the check in." I told him and thankfully he stopped talking this time. We walked toward the receptionist. She was tall and paled. She looked mid-forties and had dark hair and ice blue eyes that I'd recognize anywhere.

"Welcome to our hotel!" She said with a strong accent. I examined her closer and gasped.

"You… You are an _Ozera_!" I said pointing my finger toward her.

"Yes, I am." She smiled.

"But you're… you're" I said and lowered my tone. "_a royal moroi!_" A royal moroi wouldn't be working at a human hotel!

"So is he." She said and looked at Adrian. "You're Adrian Ivashkov, aren't you?"

Adrian smiled too. "Yes, that'd be me."

"Wait." I said as my head tried to processes everything. "You are a… royal moroi. An _Ozera_, aren't you?"

She sighed. "Yes. My name is Margaret Ozera."

Ok. I knew it. Her eyes were just like Christian's. "So, why are you working here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… You are a royal moroi, and you're working for_… humans_?" Suddenly I felt really stupid asking her all this questions.

"What is the surprise? Morois work for humans all the time." It was true. There were lots of morois living and working in the human world but I've never heard that a royal moroi did that.

"I mean… You are royal." I said.

"And what? Yes, I am royal, but that doesn't mean that I'm better than any other moroi. I have the same rights. If I want to work for humans I can. It doesn't matter if I'm royal or not."

"Oh, yeah, I know. I think that way too. But it is just that… You're the first royal moroi that I see working for humans." Almost all royals I knew thought that they were better than everyone including humans. Except for Tasha Ozera, all royals I knew, even the good ones, all of them lived between other morois. And here Margaret was, saying that she rather live between humans than morois.

She smiled once again. "Well, it is really unusual. But sometimes humans are better friends than our own race."

"Don't even tell me about it." I sighed trying to block the image of Lissa and Dimitri off my mind.

"Well," Adrian started to say clearly uncomfortable with our talk.

"Oh," Margaret said giving us tow cards. "Your room is number 207. Please enjoy your stay."

Adrian took the cards and was about to walk away when I suddenly asked. "And what is my room?"

Margaret looked at me like I was crazy. "There is no other room."

_There is no other room_. Wait. I looked at Adrian and he was looking anywhere but me. _"Adrian…"_ I started.

"Hum, Rose… I … I forgot to tell you, we're sharing a room." He said in a small voice.

"What? You forgot to tell me?"

"Well, I –"

"No! I'm not sharing a room with you!" I turned to Margaret. "Is there any other room available?"

"Yes, there is –"

"No, Rose. Wait. We are not going to_ sleep _together" Adrian said. "The room has two single beds. We are just sharing a room, ok?"

"No, it is not ok. Why did you do that?" I asked. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think. And I definitely didn't want to hear Adrian snoring. I didn't even want him with me in this trip.

"Because I'm a moroi. There are strigois out there and well, I'd feel safer if you were with me, _just in case_." He said and well, he was right. He was a moroi after all and I was a guardian. Or maybe ex-guardian, but that didn't matter, even though I said I was going to put myself in first place I still had to protect morois and even if Adrian was a womanizer that didn't even tell me that we're sharing a room he still was a moroi who needed to be protected.

"Ok." I said goodbye to Margaret and started walking toward the stairs. Adrian followed me instantly with a smug smile. "But, we are _nothing_ but friends, did you get that?"

"Sure." He said. The smile never leaving his adorable face.

…

It was eight o'clock and the sun was still up. That's one thing that I love about summer. The sun made everything looks great but it also meant safety against strigois, which was a good thing considering I was with a moroi in the Hyde Park.

"I've never imagined that London was so beautiful." I said honestly. I've seen pictures of it, but none of them really showed how truly beautiful London was.

Adrian looked down at me and smiled. "I know. But it surely isn't as beautiful as you."

_Damn it._ Why Adrian always have to ruin the moment? I've always known that Adrian liked me more than a friend way. Some girls envied me because of that. I mean every girl would like to date Adrian Ivashkov, right? Well, unfortunately wrong. No matter how many times I told myself that I would learn to love Adrian, I had always known that it was a lie. It was a lie because love isn't something that a person can learn. Love is inside all of us. And if my love for Adrian still didn't came out, it is because it doesn't exist, no matter how much I wish it did. No matter how much I wish I loved the handsome and sweet and funny guy that Adrian Ivashkov was, I just didn't. And it wasn't fair to neither of us if I pretended that it could change someday because it wouldn't.

"You shouldn't say that." I said looking at my feet.

"I know." He sighed.

"Then, why do you still try?" I asked.

"You think I shouldn't? Do you think it'd be better for you if I left?" He asked and I really didn't know what to answer. I knew that I didn't love Adrian and I knew that it would possibly never change. But that did not mean that I didn't like to have him around. I liked knowing that there was someone who would always be there for me. I just liked it.

"I think it isn't fair to you." I said slowly.

Adrian took my hands and intertwined our fingers together. We were under a tree that was blocking the sun a little so that Adrian wouldn't be uncomfortable. Our faces were inches apart and I could feel Adrian breathing. "Rose, I want you to know one thing. I. Love. You."

I took one step away from him but our hands were still together. He said that he loved me. It wasn't the first time he said that but I wasn't sure if Adrian knew the true meaning behind those words. Love was something so strong… so powerful… It was what I felt for Dimitri. And I was absolutely sure that Adrian didn't feel that way about me. Sure Adrian liked me, but I wasn't his soul mate. Adrian would understand this someday.

"I'm sorry, Adrian." I sighed. "If I could choose it'd be you." I closed my eyes and the image of Dimitri came to my mind. No matter what he did… He imprisoned me while strigoi, he drank from me, he wanted to make me join him in immortality… But none of that matter. He only ruined everything when he slept with another woman. With my best friend. And he wasn't a strigoi when he did it. He was a dhampir. He was my Dimitri. He was aware of what he did. He didn't even seem sorry for what he did. But still… I loved him with all my broken and pained heart. "I swear it would."

"I know that you mean what you said." I felt Adrian stepping closer. "But there's only one way to make me go away."

"And what is it?" I asked.

"If you want me to go." He said.

I opened my eyes and found Adrian's green ones looking deep into mines. At this moment I wish I loved Adrian more than ever. He was so sweet and gentle… But no, I still didn't love him.

"I'm hungry," I said changing the subject. "Let's go back to the hotel?"

He smiled and nodded. "Sure."

Another thing that I loved about Adrian was that he didn't insist on uncomfortable subjects. He let go off my hands and we started walking back to our hotel that wasn't too far away by the underground. We started talking about what we were going to eat when suddenly I stumbled on something.

"OUCH!" I yelled almost falling.

"You ok?" Adrian asked.

"Oh my god…" I said as I saw on what I stumbled. No, not what. _Who_ I stumbled. A person was lying on the grass. Her hair was all messy and she looked like she didn't shower in a couple of weeks. Her clothes were dirty and she looked so much thinner than the last time I saw her… "Viktoria!"

In a second I was on the floor shaking Viktoria, my old friend and also my ex-boyfriend's sister. She was so pale… What happened to her? She wasn't answering… She wasn't waking up… Oh my god.

"Rose!" I was distantly aware that Adrian was yelling at me. The only thing I could concentrate was Viktoria. She wasn't waking up! Why didn't she wake up?_ Please, please, please, please wake up! _I prayed.

"Rose." Suddenly Adrian grabbed my wrist. "Rose. Calm down."

"Calm down?" I yelled at him. "She isn't waking up. Why? Why Adrian? Why doesn't she wake up?" Ok, I seemed a little hysterical. _Or maybe too much hysterical._

Adrian took Viktoria's hand. "Calm down, Rose. She is alive."

When he said that it was like all the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders. I didn't realize that I had stopped breathing. I took a deep breath when the most brilliant idea came to my mind. "Wait! Adrian… You can… You can heal her."

Adrian nodded at me and then I looked at Viktoria. The whiteness started to fade and her skin was almost back to normal. I was absolutely sure that she was Viktoria… but yet, she looked so different…

"That's all I can do, Rose." Adrian said looking tired.

"That's fine, Adrian." I said. Adrian wasn't as good as Lissa in healing people. "But why didn't she wake up?"

"She must be really tired, little dhampir."

"We have to take her to our hotel." I said. I wouldn't leave Viktoria alone sleeping in the park.

Adrian looked at me like I was insane but didn't complain.

…

Almost two hours later Adrian and I finally arrived our room at the hotel. Viktoria was still unconscious. Bring her here was really difficult considering everyone stared at us. Some people even asked questions as if we were kidnapping her. But what matters is that we did it.

Very carefully I put Viktoria in my bed. "Do you think she'll be ok?" I asked Adrian.

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

Adrian was lying on his bed. Turned out that our room was quite big, there was two sofas, a plasma TV and a huge window with purple curtains… I've never been a fan of purple, but this curtain was really beautiful.

"Who is this girl, Rose?" Adrian asked me.

"I met her in Russia." I said. "She's Dimitri's sister."

I shouldn't have said the last part because suddenly Adrian jumped out of bed, his face serious. _"What?"_

"What what?" I said. I didn't like the tone that he used.

"She's his sister?" Adrian said angry. "I can't believe, Rose. I can't believe! After everything he did to you, you still help him?"

"Wow, wow, wow… I'm not helping _him_. I'm helping my friend Viktoria. Ok?"

"Oh, yeah sure." Adrian said and shook his head. "You are sick. You just can't get over him no matter what."

"Adrian. Listen to me." I said. I didn't like where this conversation was going. "I. AM. NOT. HELPING. DIMITRI." I said very slowly. "This has nothing to do with him, ok? It's about my friend Viktoria."

"Do you think I'm stupid, Rose?" Adrian yelled. "I know that this is just another way of you getting closer to Dimitri again. Now you just have to call him and say _'oh, Dimitri my love, your adorable sister almost died today and I saved her. Just like I've saved you honey'_." Adrian said the last part in an awful imitation of my voice.

"Adrian. Shut up!" I said and felt my face burning.

"Rose, you shut up. I'm not going to be here watching as you and Dimitri get together again and I play idiot. I'm done with your obsession for Belikov. No matter what I do you still find a way –"

"Adrian. I didn't say a word about Dimitri. I'm not calling anyone. _You are crazy_!" I said and wondered if he was saying this because of the dark side of spirit.

"I'm leaving." He said and I grabbed his arm.

"Adrian, listen to me. Please, don't leave. I'm not calling Dimitri. I've never said I would, ok?" I said. "Don't go."

"Well, I stay." He said and pointed at Viktoria. "But if I stay, she has to leave"

"What?" _What was Adrian doing? Was he bipolar?_

"You heard me." He said.

"Adrian, I can't do it. Viktoria is _my_ friend." I said. I hadn't even thought about Dimitri before he said all this bullshits. Adrian was paranoid.

"Ok." He said and I saw hurt in his eyes. "I can see who you chose_, again_."

_Did he really think that I helped Viktoria because of Dimitri?_

"Adrian, you're crazy." I said as Adrian picked his suitcase up and walked toward the door.

"You always choose him, Rose. Always." He then closed his eyes. "When you decide to truly choose me, you know where to find me."

"What about you saying that the only way to make you go away is if I want to? Because I don't want you to go."

"What about you leaving Court to get away from _him_?" He gave one last disgusted look at Viktoria, open the door and left.

And the funny thing is, I couldn't do nothing but stare.

…

**I want to thank all of you guys. You have no idea how happy I am!**

**Every time I read a review I can't even explain how I feel… I mean, my first language is Portuguese so it is not as easy for me to write in English as you guys think… When you say that you like my story it makes me feel so… so happy! I love so much English, I think it is a beautiful language, and some of you even said that I'm an amazing writer. So THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are the best readers in the whole world!**

**And I am also so happy because this story has more than 100 reviews and I'm still in chapter 5! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO AMAZING! Yay!**

**Anyway, I'm sorry I took so long to update… Things at school are crazy. I have so much homework that I want to cry. D:**

**Please, tell me what you guys thought about this chapter,**

**Xoxo**

**Mandy.**


	6. Chapter 6

I feel like I've never really known Dimitri. There were times that we were in perfect sync, and in times like this I knew for sure that he was my soul mate. And if there is something I know in this world is that I truly love Dimitri with all my heart.

But suddenly everything changed. How could he sleep with my best friend? That is what I don't understand. He said that his love for me had faded. Did I believe in it? No, I really didn't at the time. But now… Now everything is different. I've always seen Dimitri like someone who would never hurt me, but… he did.

Lissa… I don't even know where to start. She has always been my best friend. I've always loved her as a sister. I would give my life to protect her. Then, why would she do what she did? How could she ruin our friendship?

And there's also Adrian… I don't know what to think about him. Adrian is certainly one of the most handsome guys in the world, and he knows that. But all the money and beauty Adrian have didn't change the fact that he was having problems… Problems with spirit. Adrian has always said that my aura was dark. But I wonder how his aura is now. The way he has behaved lately… well, it wasn't the Adrian I knew. He used his magic to heal Viktoria and a few minutes after that he was acting all mad and unreasonable… Sure Adrian is a little crazy, but not that crazy. All I know is that I have to help him. I own that to him after everything he did for me.

As if my problems weren't enough I found Viktoria almost dead on a park. What was she doing here? The last time we saw each other we ended up fighting over her boyfriend, Rolan. I found out Rolan was just playing with her like he did with her sister Sonya and like he tried to do with me. Of course I had to do something, so I found a way to keep them apart, which Viktoria didn't like at all.

Now I know that she understands what I did and I know that she would do the same thing for me.

As if she knew I was thinking about her she suddenly opened her eyes.

"Hey, you're awake." I said as Viktoria was sitting up on the bed. She looked at me and quickly looked away. "Are you ok?" I asked her.

She nodded but still remained in silence.

"That's good." I said relieved. "When I saw you at the park I… I didn't know what to think. Why were you there anyway? I mean, why are you in London? I thought you were supposed to be at school. Oh, but that doesn't matter. I am so happy to see you. I missed you so much."

I hugged her but she didn't move. She was staring at her hands, her eyes wide.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked and she nodded again. "Look, Viktoria, I know that when I got out of Baia we didn't… Well, you said some bad things to me, but I want you to know that I forgive you. I'm not mad, ok? You are my friend and will always be."

Slowly very slowly her eyes met mine. Her eyes were deep brown just like her brother's. "You're not mad?" She asked, her voice husky and her expression was a perfect guardian mask. _Well, it must be a family thing._

"No," I assured her. "Of course not."

She started laughing but without humor. "You… you are not mad." She kept laughing and said something in Russian that I didn't understand.

"What is so funny?"

"The funny thing is that you mean it." She said and looked at me. "It is good to know that after _you_ ruined my life _you're_ not mad." Her expression was no longer neutral, it was hateful.

"What? I ruined your life? How?"

"You're the reason why Rolan doesn't want me anymore. I don't know what you did, but it's your fault that Rolan is not my boyfriend anymore!" She yelled at me.

Oh, so that was it. She still hadn't realized that Rolan was a bastard.

"I was protecting you!" I yelled back.

"Really? Well, Rose, I don't need your protection." She was still yelling. "Like I said before, you aren't my brother. So stop acting like him."

_Stop acting like him._ Was I acting like Dimitri? Maybe, but I needed to protect Viktoria. She may not be my sister but I loved her and I wanted the best for her. "I'm sorry, Viktoria –"

"You have to be sorry. _You. Ruined. My. Life_."

"No. I didn't ruin your life like you think. Rolan is not the right guy for you, try to understand this. You deserve better."

"But, I don't want better, Rose. I want_ him_." She said and tears started coming out of her eyes. "I love him. I want to be with him, no one else. You just don't get it."

"Yes, I do." I totally understood Viktoria. Actually, I understood a lot more. I knew that when you love someone, no matter what that person do, or say, or even who this person is, you love him or her. You love this person like there's no tomorrow. You see this person like he or she is the most wonderful thing in the whole world. I knew that because it was how I fell for Dimitri.

"You don't!" She yelled. "You do not. Your life is perfect. It is wonder land. You would never understand how I feel. Never ever!"

"Perfect?" It was funny that she was saying it. My life seemed perfect for her? If only she knew… "My life is not perfect. It is far away from perfection."

"Ha, Rose, ok. Your life is the most perfect life I've ever seen."

I don't know why but Viktoria saying that my life was perfect only made me remember every imperfection it had. Mostly, I remembered Lissa and Dimitri…

"You have no idea what you're talking about." I said closing my eyes. _Control yourself, Rose. She is just mad. Control yourself._

"Don't you think I heard the news?" She said getting up. "Dimitri is not a strigoi anymore, is he? Your amazing best friend brought him back, didn't she? Well, congratulations! You have your boyfriend back. You have the perfect best friend. You have the perfect life." When she finished, her cheeks were red.

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about. So, please be quiet."

"Don't I? I know you're life is perfect so don't – "

"Viktoria, just shut up, will you?" I yelled and felt my eyes burning. She seemed pleased seeing me almost crying.

"Why would I? You have the perfect life. Unless… _Did Dimitri break up with you_?" My face must have shown that something was wrong between me and her brother because she smiled cruelly. "Oh, look at that. He dumped you, didn't he?"

"_Shut up!" _I yelled.

"That's a good thing that Dimitri broke up with you, you know? You deserved this. What did you do? Did you cheated on him? Because –"

"_Viktoria. Shut up!"_ I yelled and something in my voice made her really shut up. We stayed a few seconds in silence and suddenly I wanted to prove her that she didn't know anything. I wanted to prove her that she was being a total spoiled brat. "You have no idea what I've been through." I told her. "Do you really want to know what happened between Dimitri and me?"

She stayed silence almost like daring me to continue. "Well, I'm going to tell you then." And I did. I told her everything. Every single detail since the day I left her house. She didn't say anything while I was talking but I could see in her eyes the horror she felt when I told her that Dimitri while strigoi used to drink from me everyday. I could see pity in her eyes everytime a tear escaped my eyes. I could see every emotion that she felt. _Sadness, fear, sympathy, surprise_ and finally happiness when Lissa brought Dimitri back to his original state.

"You did it, Rose. You did the impossible." She said amazed.

"It seems wonderful, doesn't it? Almost like a miracle." I said and she nodded. "But I'm not finished yet."

Her eyes went wide, almost like she didn't believe that there could be more. Well, if I were her I wouldn't either. Telling her the last part was the hardest. I told Ambrose and Tatiana but I don't know why telling Viktoria was ten times worse. Maybe it was because I now finally realized that I would never be able to trust Dimitri or Lissa ever again. Or maybe was the fact that I won't even see any of them again. How could the most important people in my world be this cruel to me?

_Not your world, Rose Hathaway's world._ I suddenly thought. _You're now Rosemarie Mazur and in Rose Mazur's world there's no Lissa or Dimitri._

When I finished I was crying so hard that I don't even know how it was possible. _Stop it, Rose! You can't cry over them. Stop crying!_

Viktoria had been so quiet that I'd almost forgotten she was here. At a point I felt that I was alone talking to myself. That's why I was so surprised when Viktoria throw her arms around me. "I am.. so… so so…sorry!"

I hadn't realized that she was crying just like me until she spoke. Slowly I hugged her too. I couldn't even believe that the girl who was yelling at me earlier would be hugging me now. But lately I couldn't believe lots of things.

"I am so… so… sorry, Rose." She kept saying.

"Hey, it's ok. It's not your fault." I said.

"But, my brother, Dimka… How could he? After everything you did for him!" She shook her head. "I don't understand. I am sorry."

"It's not your fault." I repeated.

"But… the way I treated you, the way I've been treating my family…"

"Hey it's ok now."

"I am so, so, so sorry, Rose! I didn't mean anything that I said. I can't believe that I was so mean to you. Please forgive me! Ple-please!" she said between sobs.

"It's ok, Viktoria. I'm not mad. I forgive you." I was a little sad with all the things that Viktoria said before, but I know she didn't mean any of that.

"No, it's not ok. I am sorry." She said crying even harder than before.

"Please Viktoria, don't cry."

"I'm so sorry. You can't even imagine how sorry I am. About everything, about Rolan, about you and Dimka… I can't believe that Dimitri would do that to you. I just can't."

"Yeah, I know." It so not like Dimitri do what he did. What he did was wrong, dirty. Why on Earth would he sleep with Lissa? To hurt me? That is something I'll never be able to forgive. Never.

"When you left," she sighed. "Sonya talked to me. She listened everything we said and… Well, she found out about Rolan and me. The she told me everything, everything that happened between Rolan and her. It was the exactly same things that happened to me. He took us to the same places, said the same things… Everything was just the same." She closed her eyes and more tears came out. "At first, I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe, you know? So I started to be rude to everyone. I said things that I regret. I didn't go back to school… I didn't want to. The next day I went to Rolan's place. He said that he didn't want me anymore. He said terrible things to me, but I thought that you were the one who told him to say those things. I thought… I don't know what I thought. So I started follow him everywhere, begging him to be with me. My family said that I was crazy, they tried to help me and they did everything they could… But I wanted Rolan even though he didn't want me anymore."

She stopped almost like she was reviving everything. I want so badly to say something but I thought it was better if I stayed quiet just like she was when I was talking. Thankfully it didn't take long for her to speak again.

"I followed Rolan everywhere and he always would yell at me to leave him alone." She closed her eyes and opened again. "I saw him making out with lots of girls but I thought it was a way to call my attention. I thought it was a way to show me that I should try harder to get to him. But as the time passed I realized that it was true. He has never cared about me."

"When did you stop following him?" the question escaped my mouth.

When she looked at me her eyes were sadder than ever. "I didn't."

"That's why you are in London, isn't it?" I asked her even though I knew the answer.

She nodded. "Next week an important moroi meeting will be held here in London and Rolan is going to participate. When our neighbor told us that Dimitri was back I said to mom that I wanted to go to Court see Dimka and she was so happy that her son was back that she didn't even hesitate in letting me go. So I took her money and instead going to Court I came here looking for Rolan."

"Did you find him?"

"No." She answered.

"Viktoria, do you know how I found you?"

She shook her head.

"I stumbled in you! You were lying on the ground and didn't even feel it. You were dying! How do you let a man do that to you? I understand that you love him but what about your dignity and integrity?"

"I'm sorry." She said in a small voice.

"I'm not the one who has to hear it. At the end you're the only one who is going to be hurt."

"I'm already hurt, Rose." She said.

"Then, why don't you stop? Why don't you move on? He is the father of Sonya's baby!"

Her eyes watered even more. "I don't know. I mean I really love Rolan, but I guess that when everyone said that I couldn't have him, I wanted him even more, you know?"

"Viktoria… this is stupid." That sentence pretty much sums what I was thinking.

"I know." She gave a small smile.

We stayed silence for a few moments until she spoke again.

"Thank you." She said.

"For what?" I asked.

"For everything. For saving me from myself." She said like it was obvious.

"What does it mean?"

"It means that you were right about everything. I was acting like a stupid brat. I promise you Rose, I'll never see Rolan again."

"Well, that's a good start." I said.

"You know what would be an even better start?" She asked smiling.

"What?"

"Food. I'm starving." As Viktoria said I realized that I was hungry too.

I smiled and nodded.

We ordered room service and even though Viktoria didn't eat for two or three days I still ate more than her. Well, there were things that never change. It was kind of funny that three hours ago we were all sad and now we're laughing while watching Friends. Things with Viktoria were that easy.

But something told me that we still had an important thing to do.

"Viktoria, you have to call your family." I suddenly said.

Just like I was expecting, her happiness was gone as she stared at me. "I can't."

"They have the right to know you're ok. When was the last time you talked to them?"

"It's been three or four weeks, I'm not sure." She said thoughtful.

"You see? They must be crazy after you. Viktoria, call them." I said pointing at the room's phone.

"I mean it, Rose. I can't. I was so mean to them." She said.

"They love you Viktoria."

She seemed to think really hard on what to do when she finally said. "Fine, but can you speak to them? I don't think I can."

"I think that you should be the one to talk to them." I didn't like the idea of being in the middle of their families problems.

"Please, Rose."

No matter how many times I tried to convince her that she should be the one to talk to her families she still didn't want to. So I called the Belikov's house.

Although I didn't know Russian I could easily recognize Olena's voice as she answered the phone on the second ring.

"Hum… hey, Olena. Hum… It's Rose." I said my voice shaking.

"Rose!" Olena said out loud. She started saying something more but I couldn't understand.

"I'm calling to let you know that Viktoria is fine. She's with me." I said and didn't feel the need to tell her that a few hours ago she was almost dying.

"Oh… Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Rose. I was so, so worried!" She said and I heard her giving a cry. "Sonya! Karolina! She is fine. Viktoria is fine!" Olena yelled.

I didn't say anything else because… Well, I didn't know what to say.

"Oh, Rose… thank you so much." She said relieved.

"Hum, there's no need to thank me, Olena." I said embarrassed.

"Yeah, there is. Tell me how Dimitri is… Is he ok too?"

"Yeah, he's fine." I said trying not to think about him which was really difficult considering I was talking to his mother.

"I'm so happy, Rose. Thank god Viktoria went to Court. For a moment I thought that she could have ran away with that boy, Rolan… Did she tell you about him?" Ohh, Olena thought that we were at Court, and well, she was right that Viktoria tried to find Rolan.

"Don't worry, she's fine now." I said carefully not to mention where we were. I didn't know if Olena should know that we were in London so it'd be better if I didn't say anything.

"Can I talk to her?" She pleaded.

"Sure." I said and gave the phone to Viktoria. "You can do this." I whispered to her and she nodded.

She started talking in Russian with her mother and as the thing got too sentimental I felt the urge to get out of there because it was too personal. Viktoria didn't notice as I got out of the room.

As I didn't have anything better to do, I started looking for Adrian. I looked everywhere, in parks, bars, stores… I walked for at least two hours and didn't find him. Maybe I should tell Tatiana that Adrian disappeared, he's a moroi after all and it's dangerous for him to be alone.

When I got back to the hotel it was already dark outside. Viktoria was watching TV. "You're back." She said.

"Yep." I said and sat beside her on the sofa. "How's your family?"

"They're fine." She said smiling. "Mom was happy that I am with you. She misses you."

"I miss her too." I said smiling as I remembered the sweet Olena. "Did you tell her that we're in London?"

"I didn't." she said.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked her.

"Well, I'm with one of my best friends in London. I guess there're lots of things to do." She smiled.

"Oh, really?" I said giving her a full smile.

"Yeah, there's just one thing that I've to tell you." She said suddenly serious.

"What?"

"You were wrong." Oh, damn it. What was she saying? Would we go back to the Rolan subject? "You said that we'd always be friends."

It took a moment to process what she was saying. "You… you don't want to be my friend?"

"No, we're not friends, Rose." She said and I was shocked. Then she started laughing "We're sisters."

I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath until she said that. I started to laugh too.

Maybe Viktoria and I would be ok, even though our hearts were broken. After all we were sisters.

…

**I am sorry, guys! I know it's been so long since I last updated. School has been crazy! But as it's Carnival here in Brazil I don't have classes until Thursday so I decided to update! Yay!**

**Did you guys like this chapter? Please review!**

**xoxo**

**Mandy.**


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